Tomorrow’s Forgotten Literature Today! 

Recent Works

Birth, or the Exquisite Sound of One Hand Falling Off a Turnip Truck

-S.T. Gulik

Maxwell Quick hates life, the world, and everything in it. All he wants is to sit in front of his TV and let waves of alcohol cleanse the shore of his mind. Unfortunately, that’s no longer an option.

After defending himself against a group of mutant terrorists, Max is caught in a web of global conspiracies, terrorist networks and esoteric gibberish at the heart of an underground war for global domination. He knows the Iiite shadow-government is a family-pack of dicks, but should he side with the hyper-intelligent, yet socially retarded Riot Nrrds or the secret cabal within the Iiites that’s out to destroy them both? To find the truth, he’ll have to navigate backrooms and battlefields while dodging sexy double-agents, cultists, and aliens with agendas of their own. To stay alive, he’ll have to win a game of four-way chess where he’s the only pawn, and to regain his freedom he’ll have to save the world—all before he runs out of space on his DVR.

“Birth…” is an epic genre-bending roller-coaster plunging into an ocean of fun filled bonanzas of horror. This first novel of the Chakra Kong trilogy has people, places and things. Stuff happens! Perfect for fans of money, sex, or food! Explosions! Tender cuddling with bizarre creatures! More explosions!

Praise for Birth

“You’d have to stick me in the eye with a pointy stick to keep me from continuing the series”

   -K. E. Bergdoll – Editor, Uncanny Magazine

“It’s a consistent roller-coaster of strangeness.”

   – Derek Rutherford, author

Sex, or Busier Than a Three Legged Cat Trying to Squeeze Blood from the Tip of an Iceberg

-S.T. Gulik

Maxwell Quick doesn’t like the world. So why does he have to keep saving it?

Max did his part to free mankind. He wants out, but now the masses think he’s the messiah. Walking the tightropes between cult leader and media personality, spiritual advisor and businessman, Max dedicates himself to fixing all the things that screwed him up to begin with. Unfortunately, the Iiites were just a nipple on a tire containing an infinite recursion of wheels and gears too large to jam.

He’ll need tools to change the mechanics of society. For better or worse, a tool presents himself. Count Vladimir Greystoke, a wizard of media and industry, can definitely make things happen for him, but to what end and at what cost is a rabbit-hole unto itself.

Spoiler alert! Max causes the apocalypse. But if you want to know how, you’ll have to read the book. “Sex…”, book two of the Chakra Kong trilogy, is a sexy hentai demon with tentacles probing every one of literature’s loose, soppy orifices. It’ll either save your soul or condemn it to an eternity of sucking Satan’s toes while Ron Jeremy eats sushi off your back. Either way, join my cult.  We’re cheaper than the other guys. 

Friends of Sausage Press

S.T. Gulik - Editor in Chief

S.T. Gulik - Editor in Chief

He started his life as a common wood roach in 1681, living in a small castle outside of Dublin. One day, a human alchemist blew himself up while trying to brew the elixir of life. S.T. survived the blast, but the fumes cursed him with self-awareness and immortality. A lot has happened in three-hundred-thirty-five years. Everyone he knew and loved has died. Vampire movies make him cry.

On the up side, he’s had countless adventures and learned many things. He worked for the goddess of chaos for one-hundred-twenty-three years. About thirty years ago she turned him human and disappeared, which is fine because humans are smart and likable.  

Oh, and he writes absurdist fiction. That’s important. Gotta mention that.

Carol Scarr - Destroyer of Typos, Scourge of Superfluity, and Keeper of the Eternal Consistency  

Carol Scarr - Destroyer of Typos, Scourge of Superfluity, and Keeper of the Eternal Consistency  

As a baby, Carol was sacrificed to a chaos demon. She is reluctant to talk about her time in Hell, but I believe her torment involved semantics. Shortly after she learned to speak, her constant fact-checking and grammatical correction irritated her master to the point he wanted her gone. The demon amplified her natural gifts and slung her back into the physical plane as a grammar elemental. Now, she does freelance editing.

Pharos Editing

Justin Vonhellmouth (Talarski) - Artist

Justin Vonhellmouth (Talarski) - Artist

Justin Vonhellmouth is an artist spawned from the union of one of the Manson followers and a demon named Baal. Normally found surfing the flames of hell, with his trusty canine Odin, Justin has been creating mixed media artworks for the last 20 years, and tattoos for the last 10 years. Aside from book cover art, he creates madness on canvas, paper, and any other surface he can find, for DVDs, band logos, t-shirt art, 3-d images, sculpture with clay, and leather. You can find him on his Facebook page and Instagram, while his website is under construction.

Erin Gipson - Web Designer

Erin Gipson - Web Designer

In the beginning, Erin looked upon the void and thought it sucked. With magic words and arcane gestures, she brought this very site into being. She once killed a giant and made a tent out of his scrotum. Fear her! But not too much. She’s actually super nice.

About Us

Home

Sausage press is gritty, greasy literature that’s bad for you, but too delicious to resist. Nothing is too weird or dark, but what we are really looking for is that point where art and pornography become indistinguishable, when the holy merges with the profane. We produce lowbrow humor for the modern genius, esoteric revelations for dummies, and unique, quality stories for everyone in between, all with a percentage of fecal matter deemed acceptable by the FDA.

Submissions

We will open submissions later this year. 
Likes: 

  • Unique perspectives 
  • Original stories 
  • Surrealism 
  • Absurdism 
  • Black comedy 
  • Stories that don’t fit neatly into a genre. 
  • Stories that engage readers with new and interesting concepts. 
  • Art that is intellectual without being pretentious. Have something to say, but don’t ram it down my throat.   
  • Graphic sex and violence are welcome, but there must also be a complex and compelling story. 
  • A few of our favorite authors are Phillip K. Dick, Thomas M. Disch, Robert Anton Wilson, Tom Robbins, Jonathan Safran Foer, Bruno Schultz, Chuck Palahniuk, Kurt Vonnegut, and Clive Barker.  

We are not looking for: 

  • Nonfiction 
  • Poetry 
  • Clichés. 
  • Work that exists to be weird/gross/erotic/edgy. 
  • Transcripts of your D&D or Call of Cthulhu game (though we might be open to a Call of Catthulhu book). 

What we offer:

If we choose your work for publication, we will provide: 

  • Personal attention to help you and your work achieve your potential in both the marketplace and the annals of history. 
  • Professional editing and formatting. 
  • High quality cover art 
  • Traditional and digital distribution through every outlet we can manage. 
  • We will work closely with you to promote your work through our website, affiliates, and online ads. We make money when you make money, and we’re greedy bastards. Sausage Press a micro-press with very limited resources, so don’t expect billboards and book tours. 

Reviews

Super Squishy Violence Fights

Super Squishy Violence Fights” is a series of short fiction where stories are told through a single scene of carnage. Entries will typically be extremely weird, violent, and NSFW.  We are using a blend of Superfight and Cards Against Humanity to generate writing prompts, so there’s likely to be a good bit of offensive material. All characters and events are fictional no matter how closely they resemble real things, places, or people who may be litigious.